Excited!!!! Welcome 2011

I have missed blogging so much, but just now feel able to be relaxed and organized enough to return. So much has happened since this summer. We are grateful for a new year and healthy happy children and a stable job in such unpredictable times.
Cam is still very busy at work, but we have really been able to spend some family time together during the Christmas season. He always loves Christmas and decorating the house with lights. I always look forward to dinner, cookies, and coffee with friends. We were able to spend Thanksgiving in Greenville with our cousins and Nana and Papa. Carley celebrated her sixth birthday while we were there with an Olivia the pig celebration. It so fits her personality too! She is thriving in kindergarten and loves to create and read. We spent Christmas in Charleston with Aunt Kelly and Uncle M -a - t - t (as Caroline will say.) and Mimi and Papa. The girls enjoyed their time and were able to see some snow!
I just found out I can mobile blog from my smart phone. This is probably the largest reason why I have not blogged much this past year. I am learning to like Jax as much as I miss the Carolinas. Mostly I miss all my treasured friendships from Texas and North Carolina. God is faithful and has given me SEVERAL new friends and I praise Him for providing these friends that I crave and need for my soul.
Cam and I have also been able to be apart of a couples dinner group that meet once a month for prayer, study and dinner. We are all new friends and are really excited to see God's hand in this group as we attend different churches and our unity lies in Christ. This has become a great strength for us.
Updates on Caroline..... This has been a huge obstacle ands challenge for me to find peace with my new decisions about her school and therapy and daily life. I am now able to rest and rely on Him. But let me go back and describe my worry and fear and guilt. These things seems to exist with both my children, but more with Caroline. It is a difficult task to make so many life impacting decisions for this child. I can sometimes feel alone with not much input from other people and doctors as to what to do next. I have to think and decide things sometimes for a long period of time before I act. And sometimes feel numb do nothing until I know what to do. It is so unlike me as I am typically a very decisive person.
Caroline attends two schools up to four days a week. I love her private school and can not imagine life without these sweet people who truly love Caroline and never cause me to me second guess my self . She is in a regular two yr old pre-school room which warms my heart!!!She also has her own assistant in this room. She is able to eat with the kids and color with them at the table due to her Rifton chair. She can also say words instead of signing alone. It is amazing!!!Sometimes we get two words for simple commands and sentences!!!!
We also had to make a decision to change therapy centers due to insurance and Caroline's needs. We started with a new private therapist who is costly, but pushes me and Caroline to the next level physically!!! It is good, but a lot of commitment and work on my part. We are to do 50 min a day in our stander device to strengthen muscles and teach her weight bearing on her legs. We also now have a gait trainer to assist and help transition to walking with support. She goes in the walker, but does not like it and cannot move her body yet....we are hopeful and look for progress the next six months. She now has two sets of leg braces we use for supportive and assistive standing. She can apply her own pressure, but cannot fully stand without some support.
I find it difficult to exercise every day and enjoy being a mom and still interact and play with Carley and cook and clean. Some days are hard....some days are great and triumphant and some days are blah!!!!
We decided to send Caroline to part time ESE - special needs school at the public school. It is very hard for me because it is much more institutionalized than our sweet pre-school. I always know deep in my heart what Carley did and what Caroline is not able to do and it hurts and is disappointing. I want her to learn and grow and have the same opportunities as Carley. The truth is she will not....her opportunities will be different and not run on a time table.
I have had to let go of control of her meals and naps and what is happening or not happening at public school. I want it to be loving and encouraging and honestly it is just plain school with basic provision and some love mixed in....just makes my heart sink if this is the best that is offered for my dear child!!! She stays for nap twice a week and gets OT and PT on Mondays. She has experiences with the other children with needs, but she does not speak very much at this school and does not love it!!!! She does learn about other kids and assistive technology that she will also need. She eats lunch in a big kid cafeteria and sleeps on mats....it is so hard and different.
So pray for me as her mom that I am doing what is truly best for her. All in all I have had down time and have been able to exercise and attend a mom's study. Because I have not been able to do things like this in a few years. It is good. I promise to post more this New Year!!!!! Thanks for reading about us!!!!