Excited!!!! Welcome 2011

I have missed blogging so much, but just now feel able to be relaxed and organized enough to return. So much has happened since this summer. We are grateful for a new year and healthy happy children and a stable job in such unpredictable times.
Cam is still very busy at work, but we have really been able to spend some family time together during the Christmas season. He always loves Christmas and decorating the house with lights. I always look forward to dinner, cookies, and coffee with friends. We were able to spend Thanksgiving in Greenville with our cousins and Nana and Papa. Carley celebrated her sixth birthday while we were there with an Olivia the pig celebration. It so fits her personality too! She is thriving in kindergarten and loves to create and read. We spent Christmas in Charleston with Aunt Kelly and Uncle M -a - t - t (as Caroline will say.) and Mimi and Papa. The girls enjoyed their time and were able to see some snow!
I just found out I can mobile blog from my smart phone. This is probably the largest reason why I have not blogged much this past year. I am learning to like Jax as much as I miss the Carolinas. Mostly I miss all my treasured friendships from Texas and North Carolina. God is faithful and has given me SEVERAL new friends and I praise Him for providing these friends that I crave and need for my soul.
Cam and I have also been able to be apart of a couples dinner group that meet once a month for prayer, study and dinner. We are all new friends and are really excited to see God's hand in this group as we attend different churches and our unity lies in Christ. This has become a great strength for us.
Updates on Caroline..... This has been a huge obstacle ands challenge for me to find peace with my new decisions about her school and therapy and daily life. I am now able to rest and rely on Him. But let me go back and describe my worry and fear and guilt. These things seems to exist with both my children, but more with Caroline. It is a difficult task to make so many life impacting decisions for this child. I can sometimes feel alone with not much input from other people and doctors as to what to do next. I have to think and decide things sometimes for a long period of time before I act. And sometimes feel numb do nothing until I know what to do. It is so unlike me as I am typically a very decisive person.
Caroline attends two schools up to four days a week. I love her private school and can not imagine life without these sweet people who truly love Caroline and never cause me to me second guess my self . She is in a regular two yr old pre-school room which warms my heart!!!She also has her own assistant in this room. She is able to eat with the kids and color with them at the table due to her Rifton chair. She can also say words instead of signing alone. It is amazing!!!Sometimes we get two words for simple commands and sentences!!!!
We also had to make a decision to change therapy centers due to insurance and Caroline's needs. We started with a new private therapist who is costly, but pushes me and Caroline to the next level physically!!! It is good, but a lot of commitment and work on my part. We are to do 50 min a day in our stander device to strengthen muscles and teach her weight bearing on her legs. We also now have a gait trainer to assist and help transition to walking with support. She goes in the walker, but does not like it and cannot move her body yet....we are hopeful and look for progress the next six months. She now has two sets of leg braces we use for supportive and assistive standing. She can apply her own pressure, but cannot fully stand without some support.
I find it difficult to exercise every day and enjoy being a mom and still interact and play with Carley and cook and clean. Some days are hard....some days are great and triumphant and some days are blah!!!!
We decided to send Caroline to part time ESE - special needs school at the public school. It is very hard for me because it is much more institutionalized than our sweet pre-school. I always know deep in my heart what Carley did and what Caroline is not able to do and it hurts and is disappointing. I want her to learn and grow and have the same opportunities as Carley. The truth is she will not....her opportunities will be different and not run on a time table.
I have had to let go of control of her meals and naps and what is happening or not happening at public school. I want it to be loving and encouraging and honestly it is just plain school with basic provision and some love mixed in....just makes my heart sink if this is the best that is offered for my dear child!!! She stays for nap twice a week and gets OT and PT on Mondays. She has experiences with the other children with needs, but she does not speak very much at this school and does not love it!!!! She does learn about other kids and assistive technology that she will also need. She eats lunch in a big kid cafeteria and sleeps on mats....it is so hard and different.
So pray for me as her mom that I am doing what is truly best for her. All in all I have had down time and have been able to exercise and attend a mom's study. Because I have not been able to do things like this in a few years. It is good. I promise to post more this New Year!!!!! Thanks for reading about us!!!!

Good - bye Summer

Can not believe summer is over. My Carley is so ready for school to start. Please pray for me and Caroline. She is starting ESE - exceptional education here in the public school system. I have met some wonderufl families in my neighborhood with other special needs children and feel blessed by our meeting. However, I am concerned about her school and hope it is safe and loving. She will be there part time and will nap there too. I am not sure if she will stay there and how it will work out for her. We will also go to our church pre-k part time. There is so much I am trying to learn and do what is best for Caroline and push her along, but it may be too much too soon. Trusting the Lord to be her comforter and protector while we are apart.

Caroline's 3rd Birthday

New Pictures

Updated Pictures of Caroline

ROSY'S

Tonight we ate Mexican at Rosy's with Cameron and girls and our good friends the Masons. it is becoming our regular hang out at least once a month. Caroline does so well eating Mexican food. Carley is pretty intrigued with the people who speak Spanish. She is so funny. I have really enjoyed watching her swim and learn to jump off the diving board. Seeing her confidence and joy while swimming warms my heart. She was once deathly afraid of the water. she also has not enjoyed ballet or soccer. So I am glad she enjoys the water and learning new things.We registered her for Kindergarten today and also got her school supply list. Did you know teachers are now allowed to ask for four packs of crayons. I am buying a year worth of supplies and they are going to cost as much as a backpack or more. Funny thing is I LOVE school supplies every year at this time since I had Carley I look at school supplies and see what I need at home. I have always loved playing school and wonder if that was why I became a teacher.
We also had a pretty productive day. We got Caroline's leg braces and she seems to like them. They are a lot more supportive and I have high hopes that she will walk in the next year or at least take steps. I am finally feeling like we are building more friendships and trying to settle in here. Jacksonville has just been a really hard place to make deep rooted friendships and to feel like home. Is that a real word? But we are looking forward to a great school year and many exciting changes for our little girls!!!!

Fun Weekend

I have had a very fun and busy weekend. Lots of time with friends. My girls got lots of daddy time. I was treated to a pedicure and starbucks by a friend and took Carley to the Romona and Beezus movie today. It was cute! A big thanks to all my followers who took the time to add us.
And a big shout out to the Ellis family who wanted me to update this blog. They also were at the same movie today!!!! Cameron watched Caroline and Carley several times this weekend. I also got a fun new gadget....a mini keurig....Love it!!!! I will post pictures too!!!!!
Caroline hung out at home today. She took a nap and played cook with her Daddy and kept him company while he did laundry! Thanks to my sweet husband for helping so much this weekend and to Missy, Val, and Sarah for making all of the fun possible.